‘My seven-year-old pays rent’: When should parents start charging – and how much?
Asher Bird spends just 12.5% of his earnings on rent and utilities each month.
He has an investment portfolio, money goals and a trusty financial planning diary.
But he’s not a millionaire – he’s a seven-year-old.
“I didn’t grow up with a whole lot of financial education and so going out into the real world, it was quite a shock and I really struggled,” says mum Samantha Bird, 31, from the US state of Michigan.
“I wanted to give my kids a little bit of a head start in a way that was safe and in an environment that was light-hearted.”
That’s why she began charging Asher and his brothers, Jonah, eight, and Simon, 10, $3 a month for expenses.
Each of her children is paid $6 a week for chores and encouraged to fill out a monthly planner to budget for bills day.
“I’ve noticed a real sense of confidence in my kids with money,” says Bird, who runs Kids Money Skills, a social media channel educating parents on how to teach their children about their finances.
“I learned when the stakes were very high, and it took me a long time to dig out of it.”
She and her husband, Seth, found themselves $40,000 in debt in 2019, accrued by mismanaging monthly expenses and making credit card payments.
She spent a “tough two years” living on a sparse budget and “learning everything I could about money” from free books in the local library before balancing her own in 2021.
“Now I need to make sure this doesn’t happen with my kids,” she says.
Charging adult children rent
While Bird’s pocket money system is rare, many parents begin to charge their children rent when they get their first job or turn 18, and often for the same reason – to teach them the value of money.
The UK is split on the practice – with 61% of parents saying they charge their adult children rent in a Compare the Market survey in 2023.
Approximately two in five of those parents said they did so to cover bills.
Among those who can afford to choose, some told Sky News they would “rather be on the street” than ask for a contribution, while others said it made their children more financially disciplined.
Carole Fossey, from Manchester, charges her 21-year-old son, Guillaume Ravailha, £300 a month, despite feeling affronted herself when she was asked to pay by her parents in her early twenties.
“He felt the same way, but we got over that – although every time he sends it to me, he puts it through on my bank account as ‘extortion’ or ‘charity’,” she says.
The payment amounts to 15% of his income and 70% of what he costs the household.
“I do think this generation of children – and it’s completely our fault for spoiling them – are a little bit entitled sometimes and expect things to be provided that I would have never expected when I was that age”, she says.
She wants to instil in Guillaume a duty to contribute to the household and encourage him to better manage his money.
Steve Tailor’s children, Sam, 29, and Jennifer, 27, have both left his Wiltshire home with a prudent approach to money, which he puts down to charging them rent since they were 17.
“We’ve got friends that haven’t done it and wished they had because their kids get their pay on a Friday and by the Sunday it’s gone on new clothes,” the 56-year-old says.
Rent was levied at £20 a week when they worked part-time, and £50 when they worked full-time. They were “over the moon” when Tailor revealed he had secretly saved the cash – about £4,000 – for their house deposits.
But others take a very different view.
“I would rather be on the street than charge my kids rent,” says Emma Citron.
Her son, 27, lives with her rent-free while he saves for a master’s degree – and she’s offered a room to his friend while they’re looking for a job.
“We don’t always give [children] enough credit. They’re at least as sensible, if not more so, than most of their parents. They are very savvy and aware of what things cost and the value of money.”
How to talk about rent
Parents need to balance their child’s income, education and capacity to move out, says parenting coach Olivia Edwards, 35, from Leicester.
It is important to consider the cost of housing and avoid making it impossible for children to leave, she says: “It’s really tricky to navigate that shift in the relationship.”
If parents are going to use rent to teach their children about money, she says, it’s best to start early – just like seven-year-old Asher.
Set the foundations for charging rent by introducing conditional pocket money – but don’t just use it as a bribe, she says.
When it comes to introducing rent, parents should be mindful that they are changing the expectations in their relationship with their child, which needs to be done carefully.
“All of a sudden the parent-child relationship has conditions attached to it,” she says.
“Having an open conversation around it from an angle of curiosity would be the best way to protect your relationship with them. I wouldn’t lead with the finances. I’d ask generally what ways that they feel they can contribute.”
Once money comes up, good communication of your financial position and where they fit into that is key, says Citron, a consultant clinical psychologist and chartered member of the British Psychological Society.
“Always give them the benefit of the doubt. Don’t go in with underlying assumptions that they’re lazy, no-good layabouts. That’s not going to go well. Assume that they are thoughtful.”
She adds: “I think often youngsters are struggling to find work. Things are tough. Their mental health may not be great.
“So you need to make sure you’re in touch with those things as a parent and aren’t assuming the worst of them all the time, which I think a significant proportion of parents do.”
